Those explosions were excellent! Though I think you could've shaken us up a bit more - why only one side? Two or three or four would have been spectacular!

So, it's been about a week for me here and aside from getting told off by the girl of my dreams, it's been fairly awesome. This place is incredible. Never seen anything like it! If I were a worse man, I'd be jealous that so many people I know made it here before I could. In some ways though, I think Hogwarts might be more amazing. But it's close. I promise! Besides, I'm biased. School pride and whatnot.

Those closets are pretty useful, and so's the kitchen, and I'm starting to poke around that HUGE library. Damn, this place is huge.

Nothing's "happened" yet though - those events people keep talking about, I mean. I want something to though. I want to see first-hand what this place can do. I kind of get the feeling everything I've seen so far is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

Eh? What’s this thing? Some kind of magic device? A typewriter with a screen? I wonder how it works...

If anyone can see this...hello there! Nice to meet you! Charmed, I’m sure, but I’m looking for a bloke named Sirius Black at the moment. I seem to have misplaced him somewhere. You’ll know him if you see him, as I assume he’s probably all pruny from hogging the shower at my house for so long.

Oh and me? I’m James Potter. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, now, err...

...Where am I, exactly? What is this place?